


He Gave Me Hope

by SupernaturallyCass



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst and Fluff and Smut, Bisexual Dean Winchester, Bottom Dean Winchester, Castiel and Dean Winchester Have a Profound Bond, Castiel and Dean Winchester in Love, Destiel - Freeform, Destiel Day, Destiel Fluff, Destiel Smut Brigade, Dom Castiel (Supernatural), Dom Castiel/Sub Dean Winchester, Domestic Castiel/Dean Winchester, Eventual Romance, Eventual Smut, Fanfiction, Gay Sex, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Light Angst, M/M, Minor Character Death, Sex Worker Dean Winchester, Sub Dean, Sub Dean Winchester, Top Castiel, Top Castiel/Bottom Dean Winchester, cas/dean, cute Destiel, destiel smut, dom Cas, lots of smut, spn au
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-15
Updated: 2019-04-06
Packaged: 2019-11-18 06:41:19
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 11,640
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18115370
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SupernaturallyCass/pseuds/SupernaturallyCass
Summary: I got this idea from a Facebook group that I'm in so I decided to write it out. It's supposed to be a One Shot but I really like it so I might continue....thoughts?





	1. Please, Come Hungry

**Author's Note:**

> I got this idea from a Facebook group that I'm in so I decided to write it out. It's supposed to be a One Shot but I really like it so I might continue....thoughts?

Dean Winchester was the most sought after, the most efficient, and certainly the most attractive in his trade. He worked his butt off to make sure each client was satisfied no matter the request, which left his reputation one to be remembered. It was a typical Saturday night, Dean had just gave a client the most mind blowing night of his life and to say he was satisfied was making a vast understatement, as the man insisted on repaying any way he could. It had irritated Dean to the point that he accepted the request and allowed the client another night.

Dean never saw the same client more than twice, which he clarified once the client asked for another night, much to the clients dismay. Once the night was through Dean left as quickly as he possibly could, not bothering to collect the money left on the night table. Dean sluggishly made his way back to the motel room that he had rented out, pushing the door open once he got it unlocked and throwing his bag to the floor. He has his personal laptop set up on the small night table that was conveniently placed at the foot end of the bed.

Debating whether or not he wanted to do a live cam show or not, Dean pulled his shirt up over his head discarding it to the floor. He sat down on the bed, laying back with his arms extended to the sides as he exhaled a large sigh. Suddenly he heard a ding on his laptop, a sound he had grown used to now since he became a sex worker. It was a last resort really, his choice, because he had exhausted all other forms of work due to his shit attitude and constant narcissistic personality. But Dean didn't care, he had the luxury of sex whenever he wanted. All he had to do was post an ad and people would be lining up to do him, for a price of course.

Again the ding came, causing Dean to sigh heavily as he sat up, rolling over onto his stomach, "alright you horny son of a bitch, calm yourself." Dean pulled up the notification from his website, another request from another desperate person that he could satisfy with his delicious body and seductive ways. Glancing at the request, Dean furrowed his brow slightly as he read it. Such a strange request

From user: wingedangel67

_'Hi I found you on another website and I was wondering if I could maybe rent you for the night. I'm fairly new to this and I don't have much experience online really. If you could respond that would be awesome.'_

Dean raised his eyebrow in amusement, thinking to himself that this could be entertaining for him. Hitting the reply button, Dean began typing

_'hey there cutie, didn't catch a name in your message but paint me intrigued. I'm gonna go ahead and assume you want to arrange a meet up. Perhaps we could discuss price ranges?'_

wingedangel67 is typing........

_'Oh...uhm sure....are you available tomorrow night?'_

Dean stared at the screen for a solid two minutes before he thought of a response, mostly because he was annoyed that he had a long night and now someone wanted him for another. People need their rest for fuck sake. Dean rolled his eyes but typed back a quick reply.

_'Sure thing sugar. Just let me know the time.'_

The client gave Dean the time of 7:00 pm and also sent the address a few seconds after the message was received, which caught him completely off guard. Usually clients chose to meet up somewhere like a restaurant or somewhere public, none ever gave him a direct address; still Dean made a note of the address in his phone and one more message came through before the client signed off.

_'If you could come hungry that would be great'_

Dean pulled his lip up into a smirk as he read the message, _so they must be into food play then._ Dean could roll with that, he wasn't afraid to try any kink at least one time so it wasn't that odd of a request. Sighing heavily, he logged out of his chat, shut down his computer, then sprawled himself out onto the bed. Covering his face with his hands, Dean sat up slowly so he could pull off his pants. He decided that he wouldn't do a show tonight, he was far too exhausted and he didn't want to risk having to accept anymore clients at the moment. Once his head hit the pillow, Dean was out like a light, waking up only once to use the bathroom then he was right back in bed until the sun broke through the closed curtains.

********************

The next morning, after Dean had gotten breakfast, he pretty much stayed in his motel room for a majority of the day. He got dressed and had decided that he would check out the profile of the client he would be servicing tonight, as he knew not a thing about the person. Once he pulled up his chats, along with his website, Dean clicked the name of his chat buddy from last night. The client was male, in his 30's, was born in this god forsaken town, and he was actually fairly attractive.

The longer Dean looked at the client the more he could see about him, he almost looked sad in a way, at least in this photo he had as his profile picture. He scrolled through the profile, the client had included things he was interested in like it was some kind of dating site, which made Dean chuckle, _wow he was right, he had zero experience with things like this._ Well Dean was about to change all of that, by the time he is done with him, he will be an expert. Of course, no one could ever be as experienced as Dean, he considered himself slut royalty, an honorary whore, but still classy.

Time passed rather quickly, as Dean glanced at his phone noticing it was already 5:30 pm, so he gathered everything he thought he'd need and walked out of the motel room to his car. Tossing everything into the backseat Dean climbed into his car, then started up the navigation on his phone so that he could get directions to the clients house. Once he found the house he pulled up to the curb, looking out the window of his car at the small house. There was a car in the driveway and the lights inside the house were on.

Dean shut off his car then got out, making his way to the front door and he knocked lightly standing back slightly from the door. After about a minute, someone answered the door, it was the client, which Dean had to admit was so much more attractive in person. The client remained behind the door, only peeking around slightly as he stared at Dean.

"Hello...." The voice was soft but deep and Dean stood there for a good minute in complete surprise at the sound of the voice he just heard, surely a voice that deep couldn't come from a man that looked almost like a teenager.

"Hi, I'm Dean, we chatted about this meet up last night." Finally the client stepped out more pulling the door open wider, "right, uh please come in. Please take off your shoes."

Dean raised his eyebrow at the awkwardness but shook it off as he stepped into the house, the smell of food hitting his nose instantly, _oh so he wants to start off right with the kinks, that's cool._ He slipped off his shoes leaving them at the entrance then followed the client to the couch, where he sat down looking up at Dean. "Please sit..." Dean moved to sit on the chair that was closest to the client, "uh sorry, I didn't catch your name when you messaged me...." The client gasped softly, lightly smacking himself in the head, "oh silly me, I'm....I'm Castiel."

Dean cocked his head to the side, looking at Castiel curiously, _what a weird ass name_. He didn't realize it but Castiel had extended his hand out toward him, which he only noticed because he needed to shift in the chair. Glancing down at his hand, Dean placed his own hand into Castiel's, "nice to meet you....would it be alright if I just called you Cas?" Dean watched Castiel's face as he asked the question, and Castiel actually smiled, then nodded his head.

"Yeah sure if you think that will help you remember. A lot of people have a hard time remembering my name." Dean laughed softly to himself. Hard for him to believe that anyone could forget someone with a face like Cas. Dean had his thoughts interrupted by Cas clearing his throat, "so did you want to discuss pricing." _Oh so he did want to get right to the point._ Again Dean shifted in the chair, leaning forward with elbows resting against his knees, "of course, my rates are $40 an hour. I charge extra for oral, cuddling isn't my thing so if you want that, it'll be and extra $200, I'll try anything at least once per client. We will be using protection, I don't know what kind of stuff you may be carrying...."

Cas laughed softly to himself, standing up and walking over to his desk which was behind the couch, grabbing something from inside the drawer, and walking back to Dean. Cas reaches out handing Dean a wad of money, "I'll give you $500 to have dinner with me." Dean glanced down at the money then back up at Cas, "what?" Cas lowered his hand, gently biting his lip as he looked away from Dean, "I...uhm....I'm making dinner and I would like it if you would...have dinner with me." Cas got quiet toward the end of what he was saying, which was fine because Dean was still looking at him as if he had two heads.

It was such an unusual request, how was he supposed to respond to that? Cas was looking at him curiously again and it sort of made Dean uncomfortable, "I should go...." Cas spoke up instantly, shaking his head as he stepped toward Dean slightly, "no please, don't go. I promise to make it worth your while." Dean looked at Cas, took a deep breath, then nodded his head, and Cas held out his hand with the money in it, offering it to Dean. Dean reached out taking the money from him, shoving it into his pocket, "so....you want me to have dinner with you?"

Cas smiled as he looked down at his hands then looked up into Dean's eyes, "I know it's a strange request, especially for someone in your line of work. Trust me I've tried to get people to come over, with those dating sites but no one would. I got lucky with you." _Wow creepy_. Cas gently bit his lip and turned to walk into his kitchen, Dean watching as he goes, then he follows behind him, stopping in the entry. He leans against the frame watching as Cas prepares all of the food. "You don't have to stand there, there is a kitchen table right there." Cas doesn't turn around as he says this and Dean glared at him, he didn't like to be told what to do. Reluctantly Dean moved to sit in a chair resting his arms on the table.

Cas glanced at Dean from the corner of his eye while he continued to prepare the food, "you know it isn't polite to put your elbows on the table right?" Dean lifted his gaze toward Cas, sighed softly, then put his hands into his lap. Cas chuckled then went back to his task, humming softly as he worked. Dean shifted in the chair so that his legs were stretched in front of him, he sunk down in the chair slightly with his arms folded across his chest. "So, Dean, why did you choose to do what you do?" Again Cas didn't turn around when asking, so Dean narrowed his eyes at him but still he answered the question.

"I do what I do because I enjoy the pleasure of it, both giving and receiving, it brings me a sense of accomplishment. If I can satisfy a client, make them feel desired, it makes me feel better about myself." Cas cleared his throat, nodding his head, as he turned around holding a plate in his hand. Slowly, he approached Dean placing the food in front of him before going back for his own and setting it across from Dean. "Oh crap I forgot utensils," Cas lightly smacked his hand against his forehead just as he had done earlier, then went over to grab a couple forks and knives. Cas returned shortly, sitting down across from Dean gesturing toward Dean's plate, "please, I insist...."

Glancing down at the plate of food sitting in front of him, Dean took the fork into his hand and scooped some food onto it, puts it into his mouth, and his eyes go wide in surprise. "Wow this is actually very delicious." Cas was gently biting his bottom lip as he watched Dean, then he began eating his own food. Not much conversation went on between them as they ate, mostly Dean making satisfied grunts as he finished his food. "Would you like something to drink?" Cas was looking at Dean curiously when Dean lifted his head to look at him, "I've got this wine that I really favor, if you don't mind....." Raising his eyebrow at Cas, Dean shrugged his shoulders; if he was being completely honest with himself, he actually just preferred beer but he wasn't going to complain. "Yeah sure, I'll have some." Cas grabbed a napkin from the holder, wiped his mouth and pushed away from the table, "I'll be right back."

After he left, Dean stood up from the table, grabbing up his plate and walks to the sink. He decided that he was going to wash it off, then he set it off to the side and walked out of the kitchen back into the living room. As he walked into the room he looked at the interior, there were pictures everywhere, Dean walked up to the table that was sitting next to the front door. Reaching down, he picked up the frame, holding it in his hands, it was of Cas and another man. He looked so happy in it, he smiled softly as he was looking at it, "that's me and my husband when we went on a trip to Peru." Dean jumped slightly then turned still clutching the picture in his hands, Cas stood in the doorway with two glasses in one hand and a bottle of wine in the other, "I...uh...." he glances down at the picture then carefully sets it back up on the table, then turns back to Cas.

"Sorry I....I was just waiting until...." Dean trailed off, slumping his shoulders, a married man, how could he not notice that. Dean never ever services married people until they make a contract as a couple. "Look Cas, I don't want to tell you your business, but I'm not a replacement for whatever you may be lacking in your marriage man....." Hurt flashed across Cas' face as he set the glasses and bottle on the table, sitting down on the couch, "you're right, you aren't, he actually passed away a couple of weeks ago. I....I'm sorry....you don't have to stay if you don't want to." Dean shook his head at Cas, _wow I'm such an asshole._

"Cas I'm so sorry, I had no idea....." Cas shrugged his shoulders as he shook his head, "please Dean, there isn't any way you could have known." Dean dropped his gaze away from Cas, how could he be so damn insensitive, "still it was wrong of me-" Cas held up his hand then he reached down to pop open the wine bottle, and Dean walked over to take his spot next to Cas on the couch. "I used to cook for him, he loved it, always a meal ready for him when he got home. He was a serviceman, in the Navy, and..." Cas' voice grew shaky as he poured them both a glass, picking Dean's up handing to him, "he didn't come home, not alive anyway." A tear fell down Cas' cheek and instinctively, Dean reached up to wipe it away, which he froze the second he touched Cas' skin, "I asked you here so that I could have that one last dinner, ya know?"

Cas picked up his glass, drinking it down in one go, no hesitation, which caused Dean to gasp softly, surprised that he would just shoot it like whiskey, "I'm a mess, Dean..." he shrugs his shoulders at Dean, who still hadn't drank his wine yet, "are you gonna drink that?" Dean glanced down at his glass, shook his head, then handed it to Cas, "no. Uh I am so sorry about that Cas, I honestly feel that I am the lucky one here." Cas shrugged after he drank the wine setting his cup down on his coffee table, "how is that?" Dean inched a little closer to Cas so that their legs were practically touching, "I am known the provide excellent services, call it a cure for a broken heart, if you will, but I think we can help each other." Cas narrowed his eyes, looking at Dean from the corner of his eye, "and what makes you think I need your help."

Dean sat back slightly, a little offended by this man's tone, no one spoke to him like that: ever and it kind of excited him, "well it's as I said I've been known to help heal a broken heart. How about this? How about, I come back tomorrow and we can discuss terms." _What is happening, I never do this for anyone, why is he so different from any other person?_ Cas had to smile at this point as he looked away from Dean, "terms? Huh..." Cas jutted his jaw out, then turned his gaze back toward Dean, "alright, I'll give you the benefit of the doubt. If it doesn't work, I want a refund." Dean angled his head to the side then held his hand out, "then it's a deal?" Cas' looked down at his hand then reached out taking it into his own and pulled him close, reaching up to touch Dean's cheek softly, "don't disappoint me, Dean. I feel I've had enough of that to last a lifetime."

Dean pulled back from Cas after he released his hold, his face was full of amusement as he stared at the strange man in front of him. _This is going to be a very interesting one, to say in the least._ But it wasn't anything he couldn't handle, he's dealt with plenty of grief stricken clients and has not had one complaint. After a few minutes, Cas stood from his spot grabbing up his glasses, "thanks for coming over, even if it was possibly the strangest session you've had." Dean chuckled softly as he stood up as well, "honestly, if you can believe it, I've had stranger." Dean walked toward the door so he could get his shoes on, when he felt Cas behind him, "Dean thank you, really this meant a lot to me."

Dean turned to see Cas standing a few inches from him, with a slight smile on his face, he didn't respond right away but when he did all he said was, "see you tomorrow?" Cas nodded his head at him, the smile still on his face then Dean turned to open the door, "oh and Dean?" Dean paused before leaving then looked at Cas, his expression was soft, his eyes gentle, "yes, Cas?" Stepping forward, Cas reached out and placed his hand on Dean's cheek, "make sure that you come hungry?"


	2. Make Me Forget

After leaving Cas' house, Dean made his way back to the motel room, he couldn't stop thinking about what an ass he made of himself. Then again, he'd never encountered anyone that lost someone, not in death anyway. Once he got back into the motel room, he walked to his laptop and pulled up his live. He  needed to distract himself, this whole night had been full of a whole lot of awkward that he wanted to forget. Admittedly Dean couldn't wait to get out of this town, to move on so he wouldn't have to see any of these assholes; but he couldn't seem to get his mind off of Cas.

_He's just a client, how is it that he's making such an impact on me like this?_

Dean rubbed his hand across his eyes, sighing heavily as he positioned his camera above his laptop, before hitting the 'go live' button. He set up the tags accordingly, then quickly pressed the button, watching as the view count went from 0 to 100 in a matter of seconds, and kept increasing with each second that passed.

"Hey everyone just wanted to pop on and say hello..." comments flooded the chat, every one basically saying how gorgeous he was, how much they wished he was theirs, and a few commented that he should strip for them. Dean leaned forward as he read the comments, deep inside he secretly hoped that he would see just one from that one user, but it never came. Slight disappointment flooded his chest the longer he stayed on, mostly in himself for even desiring to talk to one of his clients. He didn't do a long broadcast, solely on the fact that he was completely drained, and nothing else.

Sure he could tell himself that it was nothing else, but he knew. He knew that there was only one thing he wanted right now and that was to make  ** _him_**  feel good, he wanted to make  _ **him**_ feel desired, he wanted to make  _ **him**_  forget.  _This is insane, what is going on with me?_ He closed out of the live screen seconds after he ended it but his chat was still going nuts, so many hungry potentials. He could respond to them, he could shoot any one of them a message and have someone in his bed in a matter of seconds, but they were not what he wanted, and it confused him. Pulling up the profile, he looked into those blue eyes, the sadness in them, the purity. 

Dean growled softly, a sound that came from deep within in his chest, as he pulled the laptop closed, pushing it off the bed. He heard it thump lightly against the floor, taking a deep breath as he ran his fingers through his hair. Dean got off of the bed grabbing up his laptop, throwing it onto his bed, before he grabbed his keys, and quickly walked out of his room to his car. He knew where he was headed, he hated to leave things unfinished, hated to feel as though his client wasn't satisfied, even if the only thing the client wanted was dinner. He didn't need his navigation to get to the house, and once he showed up he began to panic. 

The lights were switched off all throughout the house, Cas probably tucked comfortably in his bed. Dean sighed heavily leaning his forehead against his steering wheel,  _this is so dumb, what am I even doing here?_  He sat up turning the key, then looked ahead. There on the corner, head cocked to the side in confusion, stood Cas. Slowly Cas approached, Dean watching him intently as he stopped next to the car, and Dean rolled down his window, "Dean....what are you doing here?" At a loss for words, Dean looked away from Cas, wiping his hand across his mouth, "I...I just wanted to be sure you were alright."

When he looked back to Cas, a smile was on the blue eyed beauty's face, "oh? Well....I'm fine, thank you." Dean chuckled softly, pulling his lip up into a slight smile as he looked at his steering wheel gripping it in his hands. It was quiet for a few minutes, Cas standing there next to the car, and Dean tapping his hands on the wheel, "do you....do you wanna come inside?" Dean snapped his head toward Cas, angling his chin down slightly, the desire he felt to actually say yes to Cas surprised him, "uh..." Dean bit down on his bottom lip as he looked away from Cas, "what the hell, sure." Cas' face brightened up as he stepped away from the car, "you can pull into my driveway if you'd like." 

Dean chuckled softly at Cas' comment, if he only knew what that comment meant, especially to someone like Dean. "Alright let me back up," Cas backed up more onto the sidewalk, then Dean started up his car, shifting it into reverse, as he placed his arm behind the back of the passenger seat, looking behind him so he could get in properly. Once he was in the driveway he turned off the car, took a deep breath, sneaking a glance at the man that was walking up the drive, before dropping his gaze.  _Yeah I think I've definitely gone insane._ Cas walked up to the car as Dean was getting out, a sweet smile on his almost angelic face, if it were possible, Dean could swear that Cas was an actual angel.

Cas stood next to the car until Dean got out and was standing in front of him, then he arched his left eyebrow slightly, "so is this a business visit?" Dean shut the door of his car, leaning against it with his arms folded across his chest, "well...." Pushing off of his car, Dean stepped forward until he was standing inches from Cas, "it can be, if that's what you want." Cas took a deep breath, closing the gap between them, as he reached up to grip Dean's shirt in his hands, pulling their chests together, "meet me inside, 5 minutes, don't keep me waiting." Dean looked into Cas' eyes, they were dark, a little dominant, and he felt a spark in his chest that caused his breath to get caught in his throat. 

Cas released his grasp on Dean, reached his hand up, patting his cheek a couple times before he stepped around Dean and walked up to his house. Dean stood there in shock for a few minutes before he snapped out of it and turned on his heel to follow Cas into the house. Upon entering the house, Dean removed his shoes at the door as he had previously that night, then walked toward the kitchen. Before he had the chance to get to the kitchen, however, Cas was there, he grabbed Dean by the shirt and pushed him against the wall, "I need you to make me forget, Dean. Make me forget the pain." Cas pulled Dean forward, throwing his arms around Dean's neck until their faces were inches apart, forcing Dean to wrap his arms around Cas' lower back, "Cas...I...I'd be honored."

Cas didn't waste any time as he crashed his lips against Dean's, the kiss full of desire, "Cas......Cas slow down." Dean whispered breathlessly against his lips, but truthfully he didn't want him to slow down, no Dean wanted this, he wanted the sex, he wanted to be ravished, and every inch of him fought that desire; because he didn't care about it, he cared about Cas, it was concern for the being that had his lips all over him, "I can't Dean..." Cas pulled back slightly, tears were flowing from his eyes, but there was still a lustful look in his eye, "I need this, I need the pain to go away. It hurts....it hurts so much." Cas dropped to his knees as he clutched his chest in his hands, "okay...okay Cas, I'll make it stop." 

Dean dropped to his knees so he was eye level to Cas, reaching out to place his hands on either side of his face, "I'll make it stop." Cas shifted his eyes to look at Dean, rose to his knees, and Dean pulled their bodies against each other, then connected their lips together. Cas gripped Dean's sides, gently biting down on his lower lip, causing Dean to open his mouth as he gasped. Taking it as an invitation, Cas slid his tongue into Dean's mouth, fisting Dean's shirt in his hands, as they embraced each other. In one swift movement, Dean pulled Cas from the floor pushing his back to the other wall, pulling his shirt up over his head. Cas gasped softly breaking their kiss momentarily, to pull Dean's shirt up over his head, tossing it carelessly to the floor.

Their lips connected once more, as Cas pulled Dean against him, running his fingers along the back lining of Dean's jeans and growled into his ear, "these need to be gone, like 5 minutes ago," Cas pulled away looking into Dean's eyes, hands steady as he unbuttoned Dean's jeans, all while keeping direct eye contact. Once he got them unbuttoned, Cas practically ripped them from Dean's hips and they hit the ground,  _holy shit he's so amazing at this._  Dean gripped Cas by his wrists, holding them securely at his sides, "are we gonna just go for it, or would you like to discuss terms?" Cas let a low growl escape his throat as he glared at Dean, panting as he stared into those lustful green eyes, "really, what I want is, Dean, is to fuck you, until I can't feel the pain anymore."

Dean took a quick sharp breath, releasing his hold on Cas' wrists, taking a step back, then his expression turned into one of pure desire, "then do it." Cas smirked as he pushed off the wall, stripping out of his own pants as he stepped forward, shoving Dean against the wall by his shoulders, once against putting his lips against Dean's ear, "you asked for it." Cas stepped back from Dean, then gripped his wrist pulling him toward the end of the hallway and up the stairs. Dean glanced around the dark rooms as they passed them until Cas stopped in front of a door, pushing it open and pulling Dean inside, flipping the light on and turning to face Dean. Cas released his hold on Dean's wrists but quickly threw his arms around his neck pulling his body against Dean's, "so, $40 an hour? Extra for oral, for kinks you'll try anything?"

Dean stared lustfully at Cas' lips, his mouth open slightly as he listened to the raspy words escape this beautiful man's lips, "yes.....but..."

"Just shut up," Cas cut Dean off by crashing his lips against his sucking his bottom lip gently between his teeth, Dean could feel the desperation radiating from Cas as he kissed him, he could feel Cas' desire to not feel pain, it made his heart squeeze slightly in his chest, but he didn't stop him. Cas pulled away from Dean, glancing down at Dean's hardened length inside of his boxers, a hungry look in his eyes. "You want that Cas?" Cas looked up at Dean, a flirtatious look in his eye, as he slowly ran his hands from Dean's chest down his toned abs, until playfully slipping his fingers along the waistband, "I do."

Cas gripped the top of Dean's boxers, tugging them down his thighs and toward his ankles, Dean's length springing from confinement. Dropping to his knees, and sitting back on his heels, Cas skillfully takes Dean's length into his hand, stroking lightly at first, then picking up speed, glancing up as he does. Dean allowed his eyes to flutter shut at this point, as Cas worked his finger magic, "I want you to moan for me Dean." As soon as the words left his mouth, Cas moved his hand, replacing his touch with his mouth, sucking Dean down his throat, "oh  _fuck_  Cas." Dean thrust his hips forward, until he felt Cas gag slightly against him, and he let out a shaky breath, "oh wow." Dean allowed his head to fall back slightly, he was definitely enjoying every second of this, as was Cas.

Cas pulled Dean from out of his mouth but not completely, no he left the tip between his lips as he sucked around the edges, "fucking hell." Cas pulled off of Dean, rising to his feet and pushing Dean so that his back was against the wall, "I'm gonna fuck you now." The next three hours was spent with heavy breathing, soft gasps, loud moans, back scratching, and Dean spread out all over Cas' bed. Cas was panting heavily as he pushed himself inside of Dean's primed hole, causing Dean to whine, truly he felt like a bottom whore, which typically he wasn't. This entire experience was all new terrain for Dean, who prided himself in being a solid dominant top. But Cas' switched it up, using his hole like he was a filthy slut, and Dean loved every second of it.

Dean looked so beautiful beneath Cas, even being a whining pile of moans, Cas enjoyed the sight, "you look a wreck Dean." The words escaped Cas' mouth as a growl as he finally reached his climax, releasing inside of Dean, the sudden release forcing  the cum to gush from Dean's hole. Dean allowed himself to relax after his own release, relaxing his arms from their previous state of gripping the bedding in his fists. Dean propped himself up on his elbows, Cas hadn't moved from being inside of him, but he leaned down cupping Dean's face in his hands as he looked into his eyes, "thank you for this Dean." he gently brushed his lips against Dean's, the skin of his lips tender from when Dean sucked his lips so hard as Cas pounded into him.

Cas pulled back from Dean caressing his cheek with the back of his hand, the man still panting as he looked into Cas' eyes, "no, Cas, thank you. I...I've never had that happen before." Cas slipped himself out of Dean, and he heard a slight gasp escape Dean, making him chuckle softly; he moved to the side of Dean laying flat on his back, Dean was still staring at the ceiling, his mind was completely blank, the only thing he could really think about was everything that just went down. "That....was.....amazing." Dean laughed out loud, turning his head to look at Cas, then shifted so that he was laying on his side his head propped up against his hand and elbow resting against the pillow. 

"Cas,  _I_  might have to pay  _you_  for this one." Cas snorted turning his gaze to Dean, who was looking down into his eyes, "yeah sure, if you say so. You can repay me by having dinner with me tomorrow night. I'm going to make a pot roast." Dean had to laugh at that one, he shook his head covering his face with his hand, "what am I going to do with you Cas, hm?" He reached his hand down, running his thumb across Cas' cheek, "you have done something to me, I don't know how to describe it." Cas reached his hand up nibbling gently on his forefinger,  _how the hell did he just go from Dom slamming me, to being so damn adorable?_

"Dean, I'm really glad that you're here, it means a lot to me. I know it's probably not typical for someone in... your line of work...." Dean shifted so that he was laying on his stomach, wrapping his arm around Cas pulling his body close, "I thought cuddling wasn't your thing." Dean leaned in resting his forehead against Cas' and he took a deep breath, "I did say that, didn't I?"Dean kissed along Cas' jawline , making his way slowly toward Cas' lips, where he paused for a few seconds, the gently nudged his lips against them. Cas reached his hand up, slowly running his hand from Dean's forearm all the way to his shoulder, as he returned the kiss.

"I think it's time to sleep Cas," Dean mumbled softly against Cas' lips pulling back slightly, and Cas took a deep breath, releasing it into a soft sigh, "you're right. I'm gone go ahead and assume that you'll be staying here for the night?" Dean chuckled softly, then leaned forward pressing his lips gently to Cas' forehead. He didn't reply he just laid his head down on the pillow with his arm draped over Cas, who had rolled over on his side to get comfortable, with his back to Dean.

Dean, of course, did not stay the night with Cas. Despite everything he felt during their little adventure in the bedroom, Dean honestly believed it was just his desire to fuck Cas, that was it. So once Cas fell asleep, Dean slipped out of his bed grabbing up his clothing as he went downstairs putting them on as he went. At the front door Dean quickly slipped his shoes on and walked out the front door closing it behind him. Then Dean went on back to the motel room, entering the room and shutting the door behind him. He had not a care in the world as he threw himself on the bed, not bothering to get undressed and he was out within minutes.


	3. You Are The Reason

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: hello guys, first off I wanna say thank you so much for reading it means a lot to me. Second I would like to say that I will be writing this fic mainly from Dean's prospective but there will be times that I switch to Cas' just because it'll keep the emotion alive and we will get to see the things Cas is feeling as well. This chapter is going to be in the prospective of Cas. Thanks for reading xx

When Cas woke up in the morning, he nearly rolled off his bed but he caught himself by putting his hand against the side table. Slowly he shifted so that he was back on the bed, rolling over onto his back into the middle of the bed. He sat up quickly, once he realized he was alone in bed, sighing softly as he rubbed his eyes,  _of course he didn't stay the night with me._ Cas hadn't really put much hope in Dean staying the whole night, but for some reason it still stung a bit, and he sighed heavily, as he pushed the blanket back. He climbed out of his bed, walking to grab some clothing to slip on from his closet, but once he opened the door memories flooded back from months ago.

_*****3 months ago***** _

_"Honey are you almost ready, we need to be at the adoption center in 15 minutes." Cas shouted from in the bathroom to his husband who had been in their bedroom. There was no reply and Cas sighed softly as he walked out into their bedroom. "Ash, hon did you...? What's the matter lover?" Cas rushed to his husbands side, he had tears on his cheeks, "are you nervous?" Ash laughed softly as he looked at his hands, "I have nothing nice to wear, I mean we're going to adopt a baby for hell sake, you'd think I'd have something fancy to wear." Cas chuckled softly as he pulled Ash into a tight embrace gently pressing his lips to the top of his husband's head, "oh honey, I don't think it's that important."_

_Ash laughed at Cas comment pulling back from him, angling his body toward Cas, as he took his hands into his own, "it's important to me lover. This is our family, our life, I just want it to be perfect." Cas rolled his eyes as he held his husband's hands, squeezing gently, "it already is perfect." Ash lifted his eyes toward Cas, a wide smile starting at the corner of his mouth, as he reached his hand up to caress Cas on his cheek, "you keep me on the ground with your sweet words, I love you." Placing his hand over the top of Ash's, Cas smiled leaning into the touch then he stood up, "I love you too and I think I got something for you my love." Cas stood up from the bed walking to the closet pulling out one of his favorite button down shirts, holding it against his chest._

_"How about this?" Cas glanced up at Ash, who had been staring at Cas with a look of intense passion, "what is it?" Ash slowly rose from the bed, walking up to stand in front of Cas, wrapping his arms around his waist, "you are just so wonderful, always having the solutions when I'm not thinking rationally, it's one of the many thousands of reasons I love you." Cas lowered the shirt letting it fall to the floor as  he threw his arms around Ash, "I love you more than anything on this planet lover." They shared a deep passionate kiss, before Cas reached down to retrieve the shirt and gently pressed it to his husband's chest, "get dressed we are going to be late."_

_***********************_

Cas sighed heavily as he reached into his closet, touching the fabric of the shirt, he was sure it still had Ash's scent on it. Pulling it from the hanger, Cas stepped back until he was sat on the bed, clutching the shirt against his chest with his nose pressed against it,  _god I miss you so much_. Cas dropped his hands, the shirt now resting in his lap, he slowly pulled the shirt onto his body buttoning it up, it was a little tight, and now he remembered why he gave it to Ash in the first place. Carefully, he unbuttoned his shirt slipping it off, settling to just put on some pajamas, then he went downstairs into the kitchen.

Cas sighed softly as he pulled things from his fridge so he could make himself breakfast Everything felt so different now, now that Ash was gone. The thing that happened between him and Dean had been a temporary fix, in fact he was fairly certain that he wouldn't be seeing Dean again, he hadn't even bothered to spend the night with Cas. He couldn't really hold it against Dean though, being that Dean was essentially a man of the night, one that pays for sex, and that's just not Cas. Admittedly, Cas wanted Dean to be here, so he could make breakfast for him.  _Maybe if_ _I_ _invite him over he'll come._

Once he got everything together, Cas paused what he was doing so he could quickly grab his laptop. He walked into the living room, pulling it from under the coffee table, then set it carefully on top of it. He typed in the information for his account, then waited as it loaded everything up. Cas took a deep breath, holding it slightly as he noticed the first thing that popped up,  _Dean is live_. He hesitated before he clicked into the live, the announcement of his arrival appearing at the bottom of the screen. 

The instant he joined the chat his heart was practically jumping from his chest, as he watched Dean pleasure himself on screen, the comments that people were leaving made Cas nauseous and he couldn't watch it any longer. He reached out pulling his laptop shut, leaning forward covering his face with his hands,  _why does that hurt?_  Cas rested his hands against his chin then shook his head, standing up and walking back into the kitchen. Cas made himself eggs and some toast then sat at the table, alone. The alone part hurt him to his core, he was a desperate idiot, calling a sex worker to fulfill his stupid fantasy.

Once he finished eating he left everything on the table, then made his way back to the living room plopping down onto the couch. Suddenly there was a ding on his laptop and he looked at it curiously,  _it's never made that sound before._  Cas sat up slowly reaching out for his laptop, lifting the screen up. The live had ended but there was a message for him in his private chat, so he pulled up the chat looking at it.

' _Thank you for your support in my live but don't ever mention our interaction to anyone or we are done. Thanks, Dean.'_

Cas stared at the screen in complete shock, how could he act that way towards Cas? They had a moment didn't they? Cas sighed heavily as he continued to stare at the message, Dean was still online so Cas decided to shoot him a message. Opening up his private chat, and selecting Dean's name, he then typed

' _Are you still coming over to have dinner with me?'_

He sat back slightly watching the screen, waiting for it to show Dean typing, but it never came. After a while Dean went offline and Cas felt the hurt in his chest,  _why did_ _I_ _even waste my time? I was so stupid for even asking him to have dinner with me._  Cas sighed softly, running his fingers through his hair, honestly this was not helping him at all. Every feeling that Dean helped him get rid of last night was back, only it hit him harder now. He had to find something to make himself feel better, something that will last, so he decided to get drunk. Yeah sure it was almost noon but Cas couldn't handle it, he didn't have a job, living off Ash's death benefits just as Ash wanted him to kept him living comfortably, but he had nothing else to occupy his time with.

Cas got up from the couch, going to the cabinet, and he pulled the hardest liquor he had from it then made his way back to the couch. Twisting the cap from the bottle, Cas brought it to his lips, drinking straight from the bottle, _so this is what my life has come to?_  Cas leaned forward to set the bottle on the table when there was a knock at his door. Closing his eyes then sighing heavily, Cas stood from the couch, slowly walking to the front door, then pulled the door open. He was looking down when he opened the door so when he lifted his head, he took a step back, surprise on his face, "Dean..." The name slipped off his tongue with a soft tone, as he stared at Dean standing there.

"May I come in?" Cas hesitated briefly as he looked at Dean, _fucking seriously?_  Cas didn't respond with words he just stepped back, standing behind the door as he held it open. Dean walked into the house, slipping his shoes off at the front door, then he turned to face Cas, who closed the door but didn't move from where he was standing. "You're upset," still Cas didn't speak as he folded his arms across his chest, a hard expression on his face. "Look Cas, I don't know what I'm doing right now okay, this...." he gestured to Cas and everything else, "it's new to me, these new feelings, it...it's just strange okay, I haven't had time to adjust." Cas could sense a slight desperation in Dean's words, which kind of made him feel a little guilty, Dean didn't technically owe him anything. 

"Please say something,"

Taking a deep breath, Cas closed his eyes rubbing his cheek with his hand, then he looked directly at Dean. "I honestly was not expecting you to be here." Angling his head slightly to the left keeping eye contact, Cas stepped toward Dean, "uh yeah I'm a little surprised by it myself. I was actually on my way to meet up with a client."  _Of course he wasn't going to stay, stupid of me to believe_ , "so I'm just a stop on the way?" Dean took a deep breath, shrugging his shoulders, "Look I'm sorry Cas have a job I need to do...and I don't even know why I'm explaining myself to you." Normally Cas would have been angry by the way that Dean was speaking to him, but by this point the alcohol began taking its effect on him so he slapped his hand through the air as if he was shooing Dean, "well...then go on and do your job."

Cas turned away from Dean, slowly making his way back to the couch, falling against the couch once before he sat down. "Cas are you drunk?" Dean took a few steps toward the couch as Cas turned to look at him, "I don't have to explain myself to you, Dean. Just leave." Cas turned to grab the bottle from the table, but before he could drink from it, Dean was there and had gripped his wrist practically ripping the bottle from his hand, "I won't let you go down this path." Cas snapped his head in Dean's direction and furrowed his eyebrows, anger in his tone, "who the hell do you think you are? You don't own me." Dean looked at Cas, his eyes wide in surprise, and he shook his head, "yeah that may be true Cas, but if something happened that I could have prevented I wouldn't be able to live with myself." 

Cas glared at Dean, taking a deep breath,  _that was actually a sweet thing for him to do for me,_ "look I don't know what you want from me Dean but I really don't have it in me to have my time wasted." Dean stepped back slightly as he bit back his sudden urge to smack the man sitting in front of him. "You think that's what I'm here to do?" Cas went to say something but he paused, looking away from Dean, then he shook his head at him, "honestly Dean I don't know what to think." Dean took a long deep breath before he sat down next to Cas. " You know what I think? I think you have this idea in your head, that I'm going to just be this fling for you and that this will end bad." Cas narrowed his eyes at Dean, then he scoffed, "what does that mean, hm?' Sighing heavily, Dean set the bottle back on the table, angling his body toward Cas, "I think you know, Cas"

"You're wrong," Cas replied, staring into Dean's eyes, the sudden rush he felt slowly creeping up on him, "this won't end badly because it's not going to end Dean, I won't let it." Closing the space between them, as he moved closer to Dean on the couch, Cas reached his hand out touching Dean's. "Cas, honestly I don't want it to end badly either. I have lived a life where I was free to do whomever I wanted, however I saw fit but now..." Dean trailed off, taking Cas' hand into his, "now, what?" Cas swallowed harshly as Dean looked away from him, biting his lip gently between his teeth, "now I don't know Cas, I have all of these new emotions when before all that I really wanted to do was fuck until I was numb. Now when I'm here all of it goes away, that desire disappears almost completely." 

Cas laughs softly at Dean's comment pulling his hands away, resting them in his lap, "I see, and this sudden change, it's me?" Dean's lip curves up into a smile, causing a shiver to run down Cas' back, "Yes, you are the reason and would you believe it, a man with desires such as mine, a man that can have whomever, would fall submissive in the presence of someone he just met. Sort of ironic, but something about you brings it out in me." A soft chuckle escapes Cas' mouth and he glances at Dean out of the corner of his eye, "well I'm not gonna complain....Dean, I do have a small request of you, will you stay with me tonight, for the whole night this time?" Dean stares at Cas, a small smile forming on his lips, "do I have a choice?" Cas angled his chin down, with a small seductive smile, "no not really, besides you still have to pay me for last night...oh shit."

Cas jumped up, turning to look at the clock on the wall behind them, which caused Dean to jump slightly, "shit shit....I didn't even put the pot roast on." Dean stood slowly from the couch, pulling his phone from his pocket, then Cas looked at him, "and you still have that client waiting don't you." Dean had been texting on his phone as Cas' said this but he looked up at Cas' shaking his head, "actually I just cleared my entire schedule, apart from you. So let's order something for dinner."  _Wow he cleared his schedule for me?_ Cas had turned away slightly, in an attempt to hide the flush in his cheeks, "Cas is everything alright?" Turning back to face Dean, Cas gently bit his nail on his thumb then slowly dropped his hand to his side, "I'm perfectly fine Dean. I agree let's order something."

After their food came, and they had completely filled themselves with food, Cas and Dean lay side by side on the couch, with Dean resting his head against Cas' shoulder, "why didn't you just go straight to the client, Dean?" Cas reached his hand down gently caressing Dean's fingers as he spoke and he felt Dean take a breath, "honestly Cas, I needed to see if what I was feeling was real." Cas felt Dean shake softly in his arms, then he heard small chuckle escaping Dean, "and?" Cas kept his breathing stable even as his heart had begun beating heavy in his chest." Dean laced his fingers with Cas' and pushed himself up so that he could look at him, "they are real, and the reality of it scares me because I've never felt anything like this before." 

Slowly, Cas brought his hand up to caress Dean on his cheek, "I understand now, I'm terrified of whatever this is. I just lost my husband honestly I don't even know if I'm ready to move on from that and now I find myself drawn to a sex worker, how does that happen?" Dean shrugs as he sat back on the couch looking down at the floor shaking his head a few times, "I don't know but perhaps we can figure that out together?" At this point Dean looked at Cas, pulling his lip up into a slight smirk, and Cas laughed softly as he nodded his head, "yeah sure I'd like that." 

The rest of the evening was spent talking about likes and dislikes, them both discovering their mutual enjoyment of classic rock, how both of their parents aren't involved in their lives, and how they both enjoy a good meal. "How crazy that we have so many things in common, Cas." Dean had his head resting in Cas' lap as he looked up at him, "yeah, it is." Cas was running his fingers through Dean's hair as they sat together on the couch, Dean had yawned a few times before he decided to lay in Cas' lap. "Are you tired yet?" Dean asked as he reached his hand up placing it on Cas' soft cheek, "a little yes." Sitting up slowly, Dean pulled himself into Cas' lap so that he was straddling him, "let's go to bed then."

Cas was staring at Dean in surprise, when suddenly Dean had his lips against Cas' mouth and his hands against his cheeks, nudging his lips softly, "mmm....okay we can." Cas gripped Dean's hips with his hands as they kissed for a few moments, a soft moan escaping his lips, "Cas...." A soft chuckle escaped Cas after Dean said his name, "hm?" Dean pulled away from Cas, standing in front of him as he pulled on his hand, "let's go to bed." Cas stood in front of Dean as he held onto his hand, then they walked hand in hand up to the bedroom, stripped down, and Cas ravaged Dean passionately until they both tired out, Dean falling asleep tangled in Cas' embrace. After a few minutes Cas allowed himself to lull off into a peaceful sleep, his mind content, and his heart almost whole.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: one more thing I'm sorry if this chapter was terrible. I love you guys tho xx


	4. There Are No Feelings

Dean had been tracing his fingers along Cas' chest as soon as he woke in the morning, which had in turn woke Cas up as well. Now they lay with their legs tangled together and Dean resting his head against Cas' chest, listening to sound of his heartbeat. "Did you sleep okay?" Dean chuckled softly as he stretched his arm across Cas' chest, turning his head slightly as he placed gentle kisses along his chest. Sitting up slowly, Dean looked into Cas' eyes, then reached up to caress his cheek.

"I actually slept better than I have in a while." Cas shifted slightly, placing his hand gently against Dean's hip, "how about you, Cas?" 

Cas smiled slightly letting his head fall to the left slightly so that he could glance at the clock on the bedside table, "well, it's 8:30 in the morning, which means that I slept for about 6 hours, which is more than I've had in a while now." Turning his attention back to Dean, Cas reached his hand up slowly, gently running his thumb over Dean's lip, "thank you so much for staying the night Dean, it's feels like it's been forever since I have had someone here in bed with me." Dean pushed himself up slightly so that he was sitting and he placed his hand on Cas' chest.

"Any time Cas,"  _how is he doing this? I am not this passionate with anyone_. Dean carefully moved off of the bed standing up to stretch then turned back to look at Cas. "Where is the bathroom?" Cas lifted his arm toward the a door by the closet with a small smile on his lips, and Dean couldn't help but smile back at him, "yeah thanks for the help." Dean grabbed the pillow next to Cas, then gently threw it into Cas' face, and he turned to walk out of the room. 

He had found the bathroom easy enough as it was just outside the door, which he soon noticed the door that led into the bedroom once he finished his business. Cas hadn't moved from where was laying, instead he watched Dean as he came back into the room a slight smirk on his lips. Dean caught his expression, raising his eyebrow curiously, "what's that look for?" Cas sat up slightly, propping himself up on his elbow, he looked disheveled. His hair was slightly messy and the light stubble on his chin had made Dean chuckle softly as he stepped forward to sit on the bed.

"I just enjoy the sight of you Dean," _wow well that definitely is something I've never heard, but coming from him...awesome._

"Cas I wanna take you out."

"Like on a date?" Cas raised his eyebrow slightly then Dean had to chuckle, he was not one to go out on dates, let alone ask to take a client out somewhere.

"Well....no I don't do dates." Cas sat up, moving so that his back was rested against the headboard of his bed then looked down at his hands taking a deep breath and Dean shifted as he moved, "look I don't know what you are expecting from me Cas, but I can't be  _that_  for you. It's just for fun that's it." Dean shrugged his shoulders, licking his now dry lips

"I understand that Dean, I do and I don't expect anything, I just," Cas hesitated briefly looking away for a few seconds then turning his gaze back to Dean, "all I know is that I enjoy having you here with me, even if I am just another client of yours."  _Wow way to make me seem like a major ass Cas._  Dean took a deep breath, shaking his head as he stood up from the bed. "I'm gonna go..."

Cas clenched his fist under the blanket then he looked up at Dean, gently biting his lower lip, "yeah okay."

Dean hesitated as he looked at Cas, he should say something, anything that could make this situation less awkward but what could he say? ' _I'm sorry I'm a sex addicted whore, nothing personal?'_  No he couldn't say that so he just turned, grabbing up his clothing from the floor, he'd done this so many times before, the leaving thing, so he slipped them on with ease, then he turned back to face Cas again taking a deep breath before he spoke, "I'll send you the address to the place to meet me at, be there at 5 pm." Cas didn't say anything, he just leaned his head back against the headboard with a small smile on his face, so Dean smiled halfheartedly and walked out of the room. He slipped his shoes on at the front door just as he had that first night, and just as he had before, he walked out the front door closing it behind him. 

Once he made it back to the motel, after he parked his car, he walked to the door,  grabbed the keys from his pocket and started to unlock the door.

"I need payment Mr. Winchester." 

Dean sighed heavily, leaning his head against the door, _dammit,_   _owner of the motel can't just leave me be._  He turned, smiling slightly and arching his eyebrow, "Bianca, how are you love?" 

Bianca snorted at Dean, folding her arms across her chest, "I'll be better when you pay, eh?"

Dean jutted his jaw out slightly, scoffed lightly then reached into his back pocket pulling out some money that he had put there a few days ago, "here, $500 bucks, now can ya leave me alone." Bianca glared at Dean, grunted softly then turned away from him, walking back toward her office. 

There was a point, when Dean first arrived in town, that he had made an offer to make payments in the form of sexual favors to Bianca, she wasn't bad to look at with her nice curves and huge bosom, but she was a total bitch; she had shot him down however, which wasn't such a big deal to Dean, he could literally have any person he desired, and he would much rather use his body as payment than give money that he earned himself. 

Once Dean was certain she was back in her office, he turned back to the door, pushed it open, and went inside throwing everything on the floor. He desperately needed a shower, he hadn't had one since the first night that he met Cas and frankly it made him feel disgusting. Dean had to be clean, especially in his line of work, being so filthy all the time wasn't sanitary. Sure some of his clients had that problem of not bathing, which he made a request that they do and posted it on his page for them all to see, but some never listened.

Dean stripped his clothing off as he approached the bathroom leaving them trailed to the door then he entered the bathroom. Glancing at himself in the mirror he was able to finally see all of the marks that Cas had left on his chest, specifically the one that stood out on his left collarbone.  _Christ, did he try to eat me?_  Dean hadn't really felt Cas suck his skin, then again he was more focused on how he was being rammed into Cas' bed, to care to notice anything else. A smile formed on his lips as the images of that glorious night went through his mind,  _definitely hit number one on my top 5 best nights_. 

Dean turned the water on in the shower stepping into it, letting the water run down the front of his body, as he let his head fall back. He turned so the water was hitting his back leaning his head against the wall he couldn't stop the thoughts of Cas that invaded his mind,  _what am I doing?_ Dean washed himself quickly, then got out, wrapping the towel around his waist, and walked back into the room where he laid down on the bed. Dean stared up at the ceiling, all while notifications came pouring in on his laptop, and he sat up slowly staring down at the laptop that he still hadn't moved from the floor.

Sighing heavily Dean got up and grabbed his bag, he needed to find something decent to wear out, surely he couldn't look like a complete slut, he was going out with Cas and that actually meant more to him than he liked to admit. Dean slumped his shoulders and leaned over the dresser on his elbows _, this is getting ridiculous. I need to get Cas out of my head_. Pushing off of the dresser he went back to the side of the bed where his laptop lay, picking it up from the floor, then he set in on the end table. Within minutes he had set up two meetings and a video chat and for Dean that meant that everything was right in the world.

But it wasn't.

Once Dean arrived at the location where the first client wanted to meet, he felt a deep sense of dread. He wasn't fully able to enjoy himself as he went to work on the client, but the client hadn't really noticed in that Dean was able to successfully mask his feelings with his dominance and quick thinking. They finished within the hour and Dean was off to the next client, ending with the same result as the last, the client had been given pleasure but Dean was left unfulfilled. As he drove back to the motel his thoughts drifted to soft lips, and rough hands, with Cas restraining his hands as he kissed every inch of Dean's body. 

_That's it I'm done, I can't do this anymore._

Upon arriving back to the motel, Dean went directly into his room, wrote out everything that him and Cas had done together, then left. He went straight to Cas' house, no stops, no time wasted. Dean knocked on the door a few times then waited until Cas' opened the door, "Dean, I was just getting ready for tonight what are you doing he-" Dean pushed himself into the house, not bothering to remove his shoes, he wasn't planning on staying.

Dean shoved the list into Cas' hands, watching as confusion spread on his face, "this is a list of everything we've done, I want my money." 

Cas lifted the list, looking at it as he swallowed harshly and gently bit his bottom lip between his teeth as he looked up into Dean's eyes. "What?"

"Money, Cas.....now."

Cas slumped his shoulders slightly as he realized what was happening, "you're ending this, aren't you?"

Dean stared off in a different direction, he couldn't let what he was feeling change anything, he was a sex worker not a fucking house husband. "Look I have guys lining up, for days, days Cas do you really think I give a tiny fuck about you, in any way?" The words came out like acid and he had to take a deep breath to catch himself. This was not normal for him, to feel the things he felt, to care for a client the way he cared for Cas. Maybe it was that Cas lost his husband that Dean felt sorry for him, that's all this was. But even knew that wasn't the truth, not really.

"Dean, I don't know what is going on, but this, what we are doing it is only for fun, we made that clear. There are no feelings involved I can assure you." Dean scoffed, turning his attention to Cas, then stepping towards him.

"Speak for yourself."

Cas took a sharp breath, stepping slightly away from Dean, "what do you mean? Do you-" A small look of confusion formed on Cas face as he cocked his head to the side, and narrowed his eyes at Dean, "you feel something, something that you've never felt before."

"You shut your mouth and just give me my money." Cas looked down at the list once more, turning away from Dean as he looked it over. Admittedly Cas was a little hurt by this, yeah sure there was nothing romantic going on between them, but he didn't want to go back to being alone again either. 

"Dean....please" he spoke softly, then slowly turned around to look at Dean, letting his hand fall to his side, "I realize that you have these feelings but.....we can figure something out can't we?" 

Dean sighed heavily, rubbed his hand across his mouth and shook his head, "you know what? Just keep it." Dean turned away from Cas' and walked out the front door, Cas watching in surprise as he watched Dean leave. 

"Dean...." 

Dean hurried to his car, pulled the door open and got in,  _I'm a dumb ass for even accepting him as a client_. Starting up the car, Dean glanced at the front door and Cas was standing there, watching as he pulled away from the house. It was time for Dean to move on to the next town, this was too much, Dean Winchester doesn't date, he doesn't feel romantic feelings or any feelings, except maybe desire, but most definitely he doesn't care about anyone. Yes it was definitely time to move on to the next town, a place where Cas was not, so he went back to the motel, packed up his clothing and everything else he brought with him. He went and paid Bianca one last time and Dean Winchester was off on the road, to the next city where he would start completely over.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: this chapter is short sorry and sorry for the feelings xD I know it's been a while since I've updated I was dealing with a lot mentally and also the whole announcement of season 15 being the last, made it hard for me to write. Anyway hope you guys liked it


End file.
